remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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