Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
