I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
