Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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