We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
