Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
