It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
