Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Jerry, you need to find god
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
