I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize