I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
