weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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