we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
