Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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