Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
