fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
