and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
splinters make it hard to masturbate
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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