So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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