we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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