and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She even gives head with a lisp.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
