He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
