Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
