Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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