so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize