she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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