I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
