I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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