I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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