Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
