its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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