I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
