so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
