I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And then my night got REAL pukey
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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