you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
