So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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