smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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