I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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