you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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