Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
