I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
