You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
