well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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