I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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