That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
