My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
