Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
