i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
