Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
