i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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