i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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