I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
