My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
