O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
