You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
