I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
