Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
