What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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