I think my fart just growled at me.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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