Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize