did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
